“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. – Eleanor Roosevelt
We have within us all the answers, all the solutions and all the skills, talents and knowledge we need in order to live our lives successfully. Unfortunately though, our egos and subconscious minds take over our actions and decisions, impacting on the steps and choices we make and affecting our present state of wellbeing. This is known as self sabotage.
Negative conditioning affects our self esteem and convinces us that we are not smart enough, not good enough, don’t have the appropriate skills, don’t have enough money, time, whatever! If we don’t press beyond the limitations that we ourselves or others impose upon us, we will never ‘achieve’ in our lives.
We will always hit a self-imposed ceiling, believing that we do not ‘deserve’ or are not ‘good enough’. If we maintain a deep belief that we are incapable of succeeding, or that we don’t deserve a good relationship, job, car, whatever, then we will self-sabotage ourselves. Some people continue to fail at whatever they undertake in an effort to prove to themselves and others that they are not good enough etc. ‘Failing’ is a way to enact self-sabotage and inflict self-punishment.
This cycle can only be broken when we look to our soul and the spiritual part of ourselves – our true authentic selves. You are more intelligent than you give yourself credit for. Give yourself permission to solve problems to meet your needs. This is your right. Allow your own heart and soul to provide insights, inspiration and solutions to any obstacles or dilemmas. Change your mindsets and beliefs. Turn negatives to positives. Look at things from a different viewpoint.
For example, rather than making the statement ‘I can’t afford it” ask yourself “How can I afford it?” The first statement is final. The second offers the opportunity to find a solution. By stating “I can’t afford it” you are telling and training your mind to shut off any possibilities, whereas by asking “how can I afford it”? you are asking your mind to search for answers, and ultimately, find a solution.
The next time you hear yourself saying “I never do anything right” or “I’m always doing things wrong” STOP yourself immediately. Rather than beat yourself up, ask yourself if you even truly believe the statement at all – or is it just another excuse to give yourself grief? Have another look at the situation.
If you could re-do it, would you do it differently? Give yourself the opportunity to ‘better’ yourself. Rather than thwart your efforts over and over, KNOW that you really are most capable – you just need to give yourself the opportunity to succeed. There are other methods of stopping self-sabotage.
Write some affirmations and make up a sign that you will see often. Begin a ‘Gratitude Journal’. Acknowledging and writing down what you are truly grateful for on a daily basis, will reinforce positive aspects, and as your list grows and grows you’re self-esteem will bloom and blossom.
Self-acceptance, high self-esteem and a belief within the Self counteract self-sabotage. When we look to the causes of self sabotage and make efforts to combat them, we are able to find new, exciting opportunities, a new found personal freedom, and untold blessings in our lives.